Purity of heart is to will one thing – Kierkegaard Seminar Series – Seminar 1: Sexuality beyond consensual seduction: The erotic abyss & the abysmal erotic – Devang Vaidya – 11th of April 2024 @ 5 pm – 7 pm GMT – Zoom

Purity of heart is to will one thing

Kierkegaard Seminar Series

Therapeutic work in intimate relationships

Devang Vaidya

Devang Vaidya is a person-centred existential therapist, supervisor, and lecturer based in London. His research interests include elaborating Roger’s theory in the context of Kierkegaard’s existential philosophy, psychoanalysis, the arts, and contemporary critical thought.

The purity of heart is to will one thing, writes Kierkegaard in one of his staggeringly beautiful upbuilding discourses. This one thing to will is simply, the good. But what is good? Since antiquity, thinkers have debated on the nature of good. This has lead to unrestrained commitment to all kinds of belief systems – philosophical concepts, moral theories, religious doctrines, societal norms, psychological formulas, and scientific research. Many of us in the present age settle on a confusion of such ideas that are quite often too abstract to put into practice consistently, especially when it comes to relating to our intimate others.

For this series of seminars I will propose that it is not necessary to define the concept of good. Rather we can approach it is acts – or as Kierkegaard calls them ‘works of love’. Good then means good acts. Kierkegaard’s interest in the subject of the good is religious and rooted in the Biblical commandment: ‘love thy neighbour as thy self’. How are we to mediate between the dialectical paradox of self-love and Other-love? What does neighbour mean in the context of our intimate relations? Who is a neighbour? If we are to love our neighbours as ourselves, does this not circle back to our loving ourselves as though we are our own neighbours?

Most of all, how should we contend with the tragic dimension of existence that continually shows that we often do not do, cannot do, or simply will not do, what we ought to do. Willing the good, loving oneself and others: this is a tall order and most of us humans will face spectacular defeats along the way of striving for this unattainable ideal. And yet, I will argue, there is hope, radical hope, what Kierkegaard refers to as the ‘expectancy of faith’, yes, even for us moderns who have signed up to the idea that God is dead.

In a series of short seminars I will explore some of these themes based on actual examples from real life case-studies.

Seminar 1: Sexuality beyond consensual seduction: The erotic abyss & the abysmal erotic

Drawing upon one of the most disturbing and yet strangely lyrical pieces in existential literature I will first introduce Johannes, Kierkegaard’s notorious diarist and seducer. A self-styled eroticist,  Johannes seems genuinely convinced that his seduction of the young woman, Cordelia, is for her own good. Could Johannes, who seduced one, or even Don Giovanni, who seduced many, be the most problematic cases of sexual excess? What role does consent play in their tales?

The publication of Avgi Saketopoulou’s recent book “Sexuality beyond consent” raises in its wake a related worry. It is one of potentially disparaging the concern for the ethics of safe sexual boundaries, viewing them only as repressive or oppressive instruments of socio-cultural orthodoxies. Unfortunately, this risks undermining the psychoanalyst-author’s own genuine concern for freeing her clients from sedimented trauma-based self-identities.

As a restraining corrective, I will offer a Kierkegaardian critique of ‘sexuality beyond consent’ by pointing to the hazards of its misrepresentation as valorising ‘sex without consent’. My aim in this critique will be to preserve the worth of Saketopoulou’s insightful proposals by defending them against possible mis-readings that implicitly or explicitly denigrate respect and care as two primary conditions of love that are vital for a sustainable and thriving erotic life.

SEA members enjoy a 25% discount at checkout.

A Certificate of Attendance will be emailed to participants.

If you think you have a new and interesting topic to share with us and would like to be our next speaker please, don’t hesitate to contact our events organiser on events@existentialanalysis.org.uk.